Appropriate Ways to Teach Kids About Sex
The most common and most damaging misconception on teaching kids about sex is the idea of “The Talk.” Do you realize that you have begun teaching your kids about sex consciously or unconsciously right from the moment they leave the womb.
You teach your children about sex through the ways that you model sexual and sensual loving with your partner. You teach them in the way you talk about, or do not talk about, bodies. You touch or do not touch them. You teach them in the way you model boundaries – good or bad.
For good or for ill, you are always teaching your children. Not only about sex, but about sex in addition to all the other things you are teaching them about on a conscious or unconscious level.
Children are often offered mixed messages in the arena of sexuality. This has traditionally come in the form of different standards and expectations offered to our sons and daughters. It also comes in the form of a “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality.
A starting point for a healthy relationship with teaching your children about sex is to realize that the teaching does begin at the pre-verbal stage. And with dawning awareness, this process of teaching can become a conscious process.
When areas of discomfort arise, a question you may want to ask yourself is: “Where do I want my child getting their information about sex from?” If they’re not getting it from you, you really have no idea what sexual values are being formed in your child’s mind.
Here are a few steps that will allow you to consciously share the foundation of your values with your children, and to reinforce your influence on your child’s sexual choice-making processes through the years:
1. Be aware that your modelling of sexual values is the first point of reference your child will have, and that out of this modeling, the rest of the formation of your child’s own values will begin taking form.
2. Communicate early and often. Start the conversation with your child before any misunderstandings may arise.
3. Once your child is mature enough to form a question, he or she is old enough for a thought-out, age-appropriate answer. Using language your child can understand, address areas of sexual and romantic values as soon as questions begin forming.
4. Remember that what is NOT said often speaks as loudly – if not more so – than what IS said. The unspoken becomes the hidden. The hidden becomes taboo. Taboo becomes forbidden. And we all know that forbidden fruit appears both gravitational and repellent. So, the question becomes, is this the relationship you want your child to have with sex and sexuality?
5. Respect your child’s boundaries. If your child is done with the conversation, she or he has likely hit maximum with their ability to process the information. So take a break and come back to it later.
6. Waiting for your child to be “ready” is not always going to work. Make things easier by making use of resources. Sometimes offering your child a book on the topic and inviting discussion may cause less resistance than a head-on discussion with your child.
7. There’s a say that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. Sometimes your child may feel that you are not the right person to have certain discussions with. In this case, appoint a trusted proxy or adviser. It can be their trusted aunt, uncle or even a family friend. Give your child the options that will allow him or her to find their centre without fear or shame.
Teach your child about the possible emotional, physical, and psychological effects of sexual interaction. Give your child the gift of language that will allow the appropriate and authentic discussion of sex and sexuality. This is truly a gift that will last your child the rest of her or his life.
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Why Do You Think Many Small Business Fail?
There are often a variety of reasons for the failure including cash flow problems, having a poor idea or product, or tax issues. Many businesses also fail because the owners are not professional. They’re late, they look strange, they don’t follow through, or they make excuses. It does not matter what sort of business you are in; in order to succeed you must act professionally any time you interact with clients or potential clients. Even if you are an eccentric artist, you still have to act like a businessperson if you want people to give you their money. What makes you seem professional? Here are some thoughts.
Dress the part: Depending on what you do, you might not need a suit and tie. However, your clothes should be clean, well fitting, and well mended. Stick to classic, basic looks and avoid anything too trendy (unless fashion is your business) or revealing. Look at how others in your industry dress and dress accordingly.
Speak well: Try to cultivate a good speaking voice. Don’t speak in slang and clean up your use of “Like,” “Um,” “You know,” and “Prolly” (for probably). Don’t swear. Speak clearly and enunciate so your clients can understand you.
Write well: Whenever you communicate with clients in email, letters, or other documents, make sure you adhere to basic grammar and punctuation rules. Use spell check and proofread. Even something as simple as an invoice needs to be checked. You will be judged by your written communication, so don’t blow it.
Be on time: If you say you’ll be somewhere at 4:00, be there five minutes early. Clients don’t appreciate being kept waiting and will find someone else who can be on time.
Honour your commitments: If you say you’ll have the project done by Friday, have it done by Friday. Don’t be late with delivery. When making promises, don’t promise anything that you cannot deliver because it will come back to bite you.
Communicate early and often: If you run into major problems with a project, first do everything you can to get things back on track without involving the client. However, if you just have to tell the client things won’t be ready, tell them early. Don’t wait until the day of delivery to spring the news that you need another week. As soon as you know there is a major problem, contact the client and let them know the situation. The client may be angry, but perhaps you can work out a compromise. If you wait until the last minute, the client will be angry and will likely go somewhere else or even sue you.
Have the infrastructure you need to do business: Know what you need to do business and have it. Do you need to fax? Get a fax machine so you aren’t making a client wait while you run to the local quick copy place. Get a phone with great reception; don’t make your clients struggle to hear you. Get stationary, business cards, and brochures if you need them so you aren’t fumbling around to create something when a client asks for it. Have a good quality printer so your letters and invoices are clean and crisp. If you will rely on a website, get one that looks professional, not like something a first grader put together. You will be judged on the quality of your operation, so make sure everything runs smoothly and looks great to an outsider.
Mind your hygiene: Be clean and have fresh breath. Wear deodorant. If you’re working in a conservative industry, remove extraneous piercings and cover up tattoos. I’m not against it but most people still find it hard to take someone with rings hanging from their face or with a big skull tattoo seriously.
Don’t make excuses: Clients don’t care why you’re having problems with their order. They don’t want to know that your kids got sick, or the car broke down, or your mother called and kept you on the phone for three hours last night. If something goes wrong, it’s fine to mention the source of the delay (unless it’s personal and then keep it to yourself), but your focus should be on fixing the problem, not relaying the excuses. You can simply say, “I’m so sorry that your order is delayed by a day, but my widget maker broke. However, I have the use of a friend’s widget maker and I will have your order to you first thing in the morning.”
Don’t lie: Any time you lie, you set yourself up for trouble. Whether it’s overstating your qualifications or promising something you know you can’t deliver, lying is unprofessional. Chances are you’ll be caught eventually and your reputation ruined, so just don’t do it.
Be polite: Whenever you speak to clients, be polite. Say, “Please,” and “Thank you.” Address people professionally as Mr. or Mrs. X, unless they ask you to call them by their first name. Use good phone manners. Don’t be rude to people and treat even the most trying client politely.
