Guys, sorry that I need to share this story with all of you. Some part of it might be quite intimidating and provocative to some of us but I wouldn't hide it because it happens around us. I believe it is everywhere. Though disgusting for some of you, I believe it's worth a share. Why would I want to share something that is hurtful if there's no reason behind it. This is something I would say an advice for women from a woman who wish to cultivate a better generation of women and even men. Come on! Everything about women is directly or indirectly related to men. You read the story and you judge it yourself. I hope we can rebuild respect for women from the tiniest step, sharing a story of someone who made a permanent life mistake just because she was temporary angry, frustrated and upset during her teen time and now she is stuck with this kind of life almost permanently. I believe in teaching and nurturing from early age. Every woman was once a girl and every girl will one day be a woman. I've been a girl and now I'm a woman, deep within I think it is important for me to help young girls through their challenging time. As our world change through the century, people's lives change too. The high lifestyle demand and every social calling is a pressure to meet up with.
Welcome to Tania's life. Tania is a bright cute girls during her childhood, I guessed it from some photos that she showed me. She's always cheerful, smiling and happy. Just like the phrase "Little girl is made of sugar, spice and everything nice." However, things change during her teen time when her needs are different. She needs someone to talk to. She needs more attention and she didn't get what she wanted. So her inner-self started to rebel and she grew up a little faster that her peers. At the age of fourteen she had the enthusiast for boys , the opposite sex and she wished she had the chance to talk more about it with her mom but she didn't get that chance. Tania's mom was working full time and her work involved a lot of outstation travelling then. Her father was fully based in another state which only managed to come home every other month for few days. She was always surrounded by two younger siblings and her maternal grandma who were always too busy entertaining her Mahjong pals. She did not have anyone that she could really turn to or talk to at home and this has shifted her trust and interest to friends instead of family.
However Tania does not like to befriend her peers, she chose to find friends who are much older because she thought they will make her seemed cool in the eyes of other kids. When she was fourteen, the friend she had were aged around nineteen to twenty five. That was according to what she told me. She felt on top of the world when she was surrounded by them. They told her many things that got her into excitement. She trusted them so much that each time they told her it was fine to try something, she would not hesitate to try. Trying things for her mean up to the extreme. First started with few sips of booze. From few sip she upgraded to glasses and so forth. She confessed she love the tipsy light headed feeling and the silly head spinning. Drunk is the word! Under heavy alcohol influence, she laughed a lot and not really sure of what happened around her. She wasn't sure how was her first time happened. It was only realized by her the next morning when she woke up feeling really sore in her intimate area with some blood show on her underwear. She even felt ache on several part of her body. When she go for a thorough checked in front of the mirror was when she saw at least ten bruises on her legs, arms and tummy area with few nails scratches on her neck. She was really scared and trembling hard. She tried to refresh her memory but not much was there for her to remember. All that she could remember was she hanged out with four guys that night. Her so-called friends, she drink with them and the last thing in her head for the night before was Stan who sent her home.
She sat at the edge of her cute comfy bed.. Paused and didn't realized that tears ran down her cheeks. She finally knew what happened last night. She try to deny it but she can't. She had all the hard evidence that she was molested and raped with some flavour of violence!! She was really scared but didn't know what to do. She will never tell that to her parents or her grandma. She thought of asking those guys she hanged up with but she was too scared too. She locked up in the room the whole day and escaped school telling her grandma she was not feeling well as Mom was away for work that week. Again, her grandma will never ask further because she was too busy with her own agenda. Tania was depressed. Although she was a little wild then she confessed that she do want her first time to be special and memorable. Not this way. Uncertain and painful. It's humiliating too. She cried so hard because she was thinking were those guys laughing at her when it happened? Did all of them responsible for the ordeal? Is she safe? Were they clean or free from and sexual diseases? All those questions knocked on her head non stop. She was there left to wonder how to move on. We are talking about a fourteen years old girl here. She was still too fragile and naïve at that age.
Few days after the incident, on the way back from school as she walked, her nightmare appeared. It was Stan there approaching her. She felt her face flushed red as her eyes caught his! She was ashamed and humiliated to face that guy in front of her. Her body hurt and her heart squeezing hard like it's going to forced to stop beating. Stan came straight to her asking how is she. Her silence did not stopped him from keep talking. He goes on and on talking about those few days activities. To her own shock, Tania was surprised to feel comfort and calm hearing Stan non stop bubbling! She started to smile and talked back to him. She forgot what she supposed to ask him! What happened that night!! She didn't asked a word instead she accepted to hang up with him again that night.
I am not here to judge or defame her. I am here to tell her story with her permission. Something I believe should be share with all our girls. Mothers everywhere and fathers too, please spend more time with your children. Be their school, their best buddy, their most trusted person, their comfort zone and all that they need. That time Stan was a 22 years old cool guy who was gaining the trust of a 14 years old girl. Being good looking and fashionable in that era does give lots of advantage to him.
So the stories goes on for Tania that she neither scared nor shy away from sexual intercourse anymore from that moment. She was almost addicted to sex and she went adventurous, daring and rough too because she found joy and excitement in it. Being with older guys mean they do take precaution so she admitted as daring as they were, they make sure it will always be safe sex. It is kind of frighten me when I think and imagine all that she mentioned. There are some details a little extreme to be share here. From her facial expression as she talk to me, I do not think that she regretted any of those. She is happy and seems quite proud to tell me that the most she handled was four guys at once. I do not want to think or even imagine it. I felt goose bumps all over my arms when she smiled saying that. Four at once!! Really??
Why I'm sharing Tania story is because I want all of us to view into the life of some people when at some point of life especially younger time, there might be a mistake they did which will later on stuck with them all their life. Some people regretted and try to change to be better but some will live on with it forever. As for Tania, she is not regretting any of it. She confessed that she really found happiness in what she's doing. She have extreme desire for sex and she laughed that she can't remember how many sex partner she had. I'm feeling deeply sorry for someone. He is Tania's husband! Yes she is 37 now, married with kids.. And truly painful to say that she has not stop what she is doing and there is no sign of slowing down yet. I mean her extraordinary desires for sex. She definitely can't stick to one man.
As usual I will tell people, "Follow your heart, do what make you happy. Let people say what they want to say as long as you know you're right. People will never stop talking bad about others because for some, putting others down make them feel better for themselves." But in Tania's situation, I do pray that she will change to be a better person. I'm not saying she's bad but what she is living is not good. She is a beautiful woman however, things she did decreased her value. I still strongly believe why she chose to befriend older people during her teen is because she can't wait to grow up. She thought grown up will make her independent like her friends and no one will tell her what to do. And why she have more male friends, because she missed a father figure. She was missing father's love and she felt loved being with those guys. I wish only for her well being and one day may she found what really makes her happy. I am not sure what she did now gives her pure happiness. It might have stuck as her habit but how does that give her joy.
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