Crying is NOT a Crime...

I always tell friends or people that I know; crying is not a crime... In any lifetime, it will never be a crime for someone to cry!! Sometimes even male friends who feel down will call on the phone and expressed it. It’s good to be able to comfort people but if you sense that they really need someone to talk to, take time to see them. Just a short time will be comforting enough. Do you know in various time it is just your presence that really matter and count. Nonetheless, if someone call you and tell you about their misery, you should understand that they trusted you with their problem. Don’t let yourself judge beforehand as we usually connect problems with financial matters. When that is in our mind, we will certainly avoid that person.

In most of our culture, most nation in this earth…. We always tell the children “Don’t cry!”… Especially to little boys, we will say “Be strong! You’re a boy, don’t cry” or we just simply put it this was as “Crying is for girls” Then, for little girls we might take it slightly easy but still sending the similar message. We told them to stop crying or in a little nasty way “Are you not ashamed if your friends or people see you cry?” In public, it can really cause us adult to feel embarrassed if our children cry. I bet we’ll do mostly anything just to stop them from crying.

However, as time goes, indirectly we cause the child to grow up not to show their real emotions because they’re afraid that people will laugh at them particularly, if they cry. Deep within our heart, we know that when we are sad, we will cry or at least we feel like crying but why are we holding back? That’s because we don’t want people to think that we are weak or soft because we’re not strong enough to face challenge or problems. Don’t you know that it is very hurtful to smile just to hold the tears from falling… Yes! It is very painful but all of us are still doing it.

Through some research I’ve made, some minor reason for bully cases are related directly to this scenario. Bullying happens everywhere. We highlight the cases at schools and work place but bully in general happens randomly everywhere. It can be on the road while driving, in the mall as we shop or on the phone as we talk.

Why bullies at school? We mark the kids who bullied other kids as ‘the bad kids’ at school. They’re always the ones that teachers will scold or punishes and they’re always the ones that parents will asked their kids to stay away from and never to befriend them. Some cases that been studied, it shows that the kids who bully other kids are unhappy or crushed inside. They’re sad but unable to show it and don’t know how to handle it. To make things easier, they pick on other peers to bully. They make the others to feel misery so they can laugh and feel better about themselves. This is really sickening and unhealthy trend.

I think it is good for us to let the children to express their feelings openly. As adult we have better understanding, knowledge and experience to handle most situations. Let them express it and we try our best to guide and console them. That’s why we say “we grow up to be a better person” and a good old phrase of “A year older, a year wiser.” All the say and phrase has its own deep meaning. Cry it out if you really need to but always do it in a better way.