Identifying Healthy and Abusive Relationship

I have feeling for this topic today so I would like to share it with all of you. It’s about Abusive relationship. Sometimes abusive relationships are easy to identify but in some situations, the abuse may take delicate forms. Some of the aspects shown below can help you to identify traits between abusive and healthy relationships. In general, abusive relationships have a serious power imbalance, with the abuser controlling or attempting to control most aspects of life. Healthy relationships share responsibility and decision-making tasks and reflect respect for all the people in the relationship, including children.

Healthy Relationships:

 

 

Non-Threatening Behavior

ü  Talking and acting so that your partner feels safe and comfortable doing and saying things.

 

Respect

ü  Listening to your partner non-judgmentally.

ü  Being emotionally affirming and understanding.

ü  Valuing opinions.

 

Trust and Support

ü  Supporting your partner’s goals in life.

ü  Respecting your partner’s right to his or her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.

 

Honesty and Accountability

ü  Accepting responsibility for self.

ü  Admitting being wrong when it is appropriate.

ü  Communicating openly and truthfully

 

Responsible Parenting

ü  Sharing parental responsibilities.

ü  Being a positive, non-violent role model for children.

 

Shared Responsibility

ü  Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work.

ü  Making family decisions together.

 

Abusive Relationships:

 

 

Using Intimidation

v  Making your partner afraid by using looks, actions, gestures.

v  Smashing or destroying things.

v  Destroying or confiscating your partner's property.

v  Abusing pets as a display of power and control.

v  Silent or overt raging

v  Displaying weapons or threatening their use.

v  Making physical threats.

 

Using Emotional Abuse

v  Putting your partner down.

v  Making your partner feel bad about himself or herself.

v  Calling your partner with names.

v  Harassing or intimidating your partner.

v  "Checking up on" your partner's activities or whereabouts.

v  Humiliating your partner, weather through direct attacks or "nasty jokes".

v  Making your partner feel guilty.

 

Using Isolation

v  Controlling what your partner does, who he or she sees and talks to, what he or she reads, where he or she goes.

v  Limiting your partner’s outside involvement.

v  Demanding your partner remains home when you are not with them.

v  Cutting your partner off from prior friends, activities, and social interaction.

v  Using jealousy to justify your actions - Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Love Addiction

 

Minimizing, Denying and Blame Shifting

v  Making light of the abuse and not taking your partner’s concerns about it seriously.

v  Saying the abuse did not happen, or wasn't that bad.

v  Shifting responsibility for your abusive behavior to your partner. (i.e: I did it because you ______.)

v  Saying your partner caused it.

 

Using Children

v  Making your partner feel guilty about the children.

v  Using the children to relay messages.

v  Using visitation to harass your partner.

v  Threatening to take the children away.

 

Using Male Privilege

v  Treating your partner like a servant.

v  Making all the big decisions.

v  Being the one to define the relationship's roles.

 

Using Economic Abuse

v  Preventing your partner from getting or keeping a job.

v  Making your partner ask for money.

v  Giving your partner an allowance.

v  Taking your partner’s money.

v  Not letting your partner know about or have access to family income

Now you will understand more about how healthy relationship should be and what are the characters that may leads to an abusive relationship. Be wise and know how to play your right part in a relationship. Treat others the way you want to be treated.